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I wasn’t ready for so many emotions. In fact, leading up to the conference, I tried to minimize what I would feel. Would I feel disappointment about not being a finalist in the Genesis contest? I deleted that thought from my conscious until I sat at the dinner where they announced the finalists. Shoot. I probably should have thought through how I would react or should react. Disappointment engulfed me, and I felt tears prick at my eyes for a moment. It would have been the perfect ending to the Cinderella story of my first book. An accelerant to the announcement that I had indeed signed a contract for Into the Promised Land. Then a word from Hebrews 12 came to me. Author. Jesus is the author of this story, the perfecter. Winning wasn’t his perfect plan. He knows the plot – I don’t. He’s the master of a perfectly placed twist; after all, he’s the creator of story. Do I trust the author? I want to say YES! with all my heart, but the truth lies in the murky doubts of my soul where the enemy whispers, you aren’t good enough. What are you doing here?

The next morning I prepared for my second pitching appointment, this time to a Bethany House acquisitions editor. I went in less than confident, but she was kind and told me to send her the pages. My heart swelled with pleasure – ashamed pleasure – should I really celebrate a request while people around me are suffering? There really were a lot of emotions. Later in the day, I had my last appointment with an acquisitions editor from HarperCollins. She took the proposal and pages out of my hands for my second book. What an encouraging soul. In less than twenty-four hours, I went from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs. Exhausting. Part of me wanted to crawl into bed and forget about the Gala the last evening. I had no reason to even attend at this point since Into the Promised Land didn’t final, but God wanted me there – so I dragged my evening gown on and defended the elevator feeling a little beat up.

What happened that night was probably the most encouraging part of it all. The organizers announced winner after winner, and as they ascended to the podium to give their remarks, almost all commented on what a tough journey they had to endure to get to this part of their careers. Rejections from major publishing houses, agents, and a twist in the road to self-publishing or small press. What an encouragement! Jesus is indeed the author of this journey, not only for me but for so many other Christian fiction writers. There is more than one way to achieve a dream. Jennifer, my dear writer friend, who attended the conference with me, quoted her dad at our writer’s group a few years ago, and this has always stuck with me. “The Lord is a lamp unto your feet, but he doesn’t always show you the entire journey, sometimes just where you need to take the next step.”

Lord, show me where I need to take the next step. Be my guide; let me work only for your glory.

Other Highlights:

Ask me about the mash potatoes served with every meal!

Hobnobbing with successful romance authors and their husbands in the evenings. There were lots of laughs to be had. What a treat to hang with writers of their caliber.

Jennifer and I picking out the exact same Colleen Coble audiobook to listen to on the drive.

Robin Jones Gunn sitting down next to me and asking, “so what’s your book about.” insert emoji here. I guess that can qualify as my first pitch at the conference. What a way to practice.

The worship sessions led by Rachel Hauck. They were the perfect way to center my heart on the Lord at the beginning of the day.